Part 1: Inspiration

A wondrous idea strikes you

in the middle of the night

While you’re watching the fire

and reading a book.

Just like in the movies.

Ping. Things fall into place.

You get to work.

And the more you get to work,

The more ideas abound!

Under every idea is another idea;

too many to act on.

You shovel ideas like gold in a dragon’s cave.

Crafting, crafting, crafting.

Part 2: Doubt

It has been crafted.

Not polished, not shining, but it exists.

It stands on its own.

It’s 98% of the way there.

Just needs a little tweaking.

Is this too weird?

Who am I to put this in the world?

What will people think?

Who will care?

What am I supposed to do with it?

What if no one likes it?

What if no one gets it?

It’s just not good enough yet.

I’m just not good enough yet.

We’re not ready.

Crafting, crafting, crafting.

Part 3: Limbo

Picking away

Picking

picking

For days

For weeks

For months

For years.

This is unique

It’s special

I have to do it right

I don’t want it to be good –

I want it to be great.

I want it to stand out.

I want the right people to see it.

I want it to be unforgettable.

I want it to be like nothing else.

This idea is everything.

All my eggs in this basket.

It has the power to change everything

and it has the power to destroy everything

that I believe myself to be.

Part 4: Reasons

Then

A terrible, wonderful thing happens.

Well, nothing really happens, to be honest.

Life just keeps doing what it’s been doing this whole time.

Stuff just keeps happening.

Not crazy stuff

Just… stuff.

Job stuff.

Family stuff.

Financial stuff.

Marriage stuff.

Kid stuff.

Being tired.

Having to cook dinner every night.

If only this “real life stuff” wasn’t happening

Then I would finish it.

No, I would, I really would.

If I just had some more free time

Even just a few hours

If someone else could cook my dinner

If I didn’t have so many things going on

If my job paid me more

If I didn’t live in this city

If I didn’t have to go back to school

If I wasn’t so busy helping other people

Then I would do it.

Part 5: Silence

… I want to finish it

It’s the world that doesn’t want me to finish it.

No, that’s not fair.

Because the world doesn’t know about it.

It’s just not good enough yet.

It has to work.

I don’t want it to blend in,

and that’s why I keep improving it.

I don’t want to blend in,

and that’s why I want to make sure

I’m seen the right way.

I don’t want it to fail.

And that’s why I keep fixing it.

I don’t want to fail.

That’s why…

I stay silent.

One day

I’ll finish it

and share it.

That’s what I keep telling everyone.

And until that day,

I will continue being

a living embodiment of

tragically

unfulfilled

potential.

Mantras to Help Overcome Perfectionism

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” - Lemony Snicket

• I am a well of inspiration. My gift is not perfection, but my ability to tap into the essence of creation and keep making things that matter to me.

• I am not my creations. While they are expressions of me, they are not me. I don’t need to be so precious.

• My self-worth is inherent. It is not entwined with the creations I put into the world. No matter what happens, I am worthy and valuable as I am.

• The joy of creation is in the adrenaline rush of sharing, even with just a trusted group or person. Step one is starting somewhere.

• Sharing my creation brings it to life.

• I am unique, and what I’m doing is unique, but not beyond an understanding or connection with others.

• When others gain value and connection from my creation right away, this does not mean I or my creation is not unique.

• The most compelling, delightful parts of creative output are its quirky imperfections.

• My perfectionism is harmful when it’s taking me away from my vision.

• My commitment to creation is powerful when it is taking me closer to my vision.

• Creation is skill and chaos. Once I have injected my skill, I must release it to the world of chaos for it to fulfill its purpose.

Brittany Veenhuysen is a writer and co-founder of BrandPsyche. With a BA in English and a philosophical lens, she uses strategic storytelling to connect entrepreneurial folk with people they love to serve.

A Perfectionist's Lament in Five Parts